AGC #024 - The coach’s guide to eliminating entitlement

Last week, I wrote about how athletes can avoid having an entitlement mindset.

But the responsibility doesn’t just lie with them - coaches have a major role to play too.

It’s easy to blame players when they act entitled. We’ve all said things like:

• “They’re just not coachable.”

• “He only works hard when he’s playing well.”

• “She always wants to be treated differently to others.”

• “They always act insulted when I try to give them feedback.”

While no coach can control a player’s personality or upbringing, they can ensure they are creating an environment that won’t tolerate entitled behavior.

Here are 4 ways for coaches to crush entitlement in their teams.

1 - Address conflict and hold players accountable

The standard you walk past is the new one you accept for yourself and the team.

Ignoring conflicts or having difficult conversations with players (for example, about playing time) is often the easy option in the short term.

But it harms your team in the long term, as it allows entitlement to take root.

The same goes for your team’s rules, standards, and consequences for them not being met. These should be clear, and written down somewhere the players can access them.

That means thinking through what those consequences should be, and having systems in place to enforce them.

This is a balancing act; your credibility will be undermined if you don’t follow through, but you also have to be realistic.

Many a coach, for example, has set a high bar for a fitness test that must be passed to be selected… only to find themselves in a hole when not enough players pass to field a team.

Having difficult conversations with players won’t always make you popular, and will likely add to your stress levels.

Nobody enjoys these, but the costs of not having them are far higher - and you’ll likely only see the true results when it’s too late.

2 - Balance praise and criticism

Coaches seeking to create positive learning environments often make the mistake of over-praising and under-criticizing.

The intention comes from a good place but it does the players a disservice, creates a low-challenge environment, and leads to a culture of entitlement.

Over-praising teaches athletes to expect recognition where it hasn’t been earned.

And being that coach who is constantly shouting “good job!” every five seconds waters down the impact of that praise anyway.

Reserve it for when it’s been earned, and deliver it loudly and passionately when you want to see the same behavior replicated by the rest of the team, to send the right signals.

You should add even-handed constructive criticism to the mix when appropriate too.

Denying players feedback coddles them, misses opportunities to help them grow, and most players who want to get better are seeking your help and guidance.

Entitled players are offended by constructive feedback, and may take it as a personal attack.

We all do it sometimes in life, if we are honest with ourselves.

But you can help them become more accustomed to it, and learn to respond appropriately, by giving them regular reps of receiving it.

3 - Avoid giving special treatment

Treating certain athletes differently is a shortcut to entitlement for some, and resentment for everyone else.

Neither of which will improve your team’s culture, or move them closer to their goals.

It’s unrealistic to think you can treat everyone equally, as every individual’s needs are different. And every situation will have its own nuance and context.

But you can try to treat everyone fairly.

Your handling of problems with individuals should fall within the rules and standards you have asked the group to buy into.

For example, if your best player breaks a team rule that normally results in a suspension from the next game… you need to follow through and suspend them, even if it harms your chances of winning.

The players already assume you have favorites anyway, but holding everyone to the same standards will help counteract that perception.

It will also show that player that while they may have exceptional ability, that does not entitle them to an exception.

4 - Watch out for signs of entitlement

Team culture never arrives - it has to be worked on and fought for every day.

Even the strongest team cultures will subconsciously let standards slip from time to time, and see unwanted traits of human nature creep in.

So it’s a good idea as a coach to do an “inventory” of your environment to see where signs of entitlement might exist in your program.

For instance: do the older players expect the younger ones to do all the menial jobs (like picking up balls and putting equipment away after practice), or does everyone pitch in?

Or do your oldest players expect to be made captains just because of their seniority?

Maybe you’ve got a junior who thinks she deserves more playing time because she’s more experienced than the sophomore getting minutes over her.

You may be inadvertently allowing an entitlement mindset to flourish, but watching out for the signs and taking prompt action to move things in a healthier direction will help stamp it out.

That’s it! 4 ways coaches can tackle entitlement in their programs. Taking these steps can set your program on the way to a team culture built on accountability and fairness.

If you haven’t already, check out part one of this series, which looks at how players can avoid entitlement.