AGC #023 - Avoid this team culture killer

One of the biggest killers of talented players is entitlement.

Like most coaches, I’ve had a few entitled players in my time.

All were highly rated during their teenage years, and predicted to make a big impact as adult players.

All struggled to make an impact at the next level.

There were the two players who were the stars of their rival school teams, and couldn’t figure out how to play together for their club.

They did a lot of complaining, and not a lot of problem-solving - and refused to speak to each other about it.

There was the one who played hard on the field, but played hard off it too.

As she started to show up to more parties, she showed up to less practices.

And when she didn’t show up at all to a team meeting in college, they asked her to not bother showing up again.

There was the one who refused to be substituted after scoring a first-half hat-trick, because she was afraid she wouldn’t win individual awards if she didn’t pad out her stats.

And there was the one whose parents complained five minutes after a loss that said needed more minutes, in a different position.

They went on to say who of her teammates should be dropped and who should play more (hint: her friends), while she nodded along beside them.

Just because entitlement is common, doesn’t mean players, parents, and coaches should accept it.

A little effort goes a long way to guard against the entitlement mindset.

Here are 4 methods for players to try:

1 - Fight your own battles

It’s solid life advice to only complain about something if you are actively working towards a solution.

It’s also solid parenting advice that if the kid CAN do the thing, you should let them do the thing:

This is especially relevant when resolving the interpersonal conflict that is inevitable in sports teams.

Players should attempt to solve the issue themselves before seeking help from teammates, coaches, or parents.

Parents and coaches should ensure a genuine attempt has been made to take constructive action before intervening.

2 - Tell yourself you’ve never arrived

Entitled players can often be a big fish in a small pond, and one of the best players on your school or club team.

They’re probably used to success, winning championships, and being told how good they are.

Don’t stop working. You can always improve.

The best players famously never get bored with the basics. 

If entitlement is the disease, discipline can be the cure.

3 - Remember where you’re going next

In the reel below, I discussed “senioritis” - a mistake some committed high school seniors make in slacking off right before college, thinking they’ve made it.

A key way to guard against that mindset is reminding themselves they’re preparing to play a faster version of their sport against older athletes who don’t care what they’ve achieved to date.

Most players are working towards playing at a higher level than their current one - so let your future motivate you more than your past.

4 - Direct your energy toward others

Our brains are wired to think everything sucks - it’s called negativity bias.

When combined with ego, it can lead to an entitlement mindset:

• “It’s so cold, I don’t want to practice today.”

• “This workout is too hard. Nobody will notice if I skip it.”

• “Why are we doing this drill? I already know how to do this.”

The fastest and simplest way to get out of your head, and out of your own way, is to interrupt these negative thoughts, and direct your energy toward others.

High-five a team-mate.

Cheer on someone else’s great play.

Ask how someone is doing, or what they did that day.

Making this a regular habit will guard against an entitlement mindset - it’s almost impossible to think about your own struggles when your actions and words focus on other people.

That’s it! Four tales of entitlement, and four ways to guard against it.

This is the first in a two-part series; the next A Good Coach newsletter, out on May 14, will look at how coaches can create an entitlement-free environment.

If you have ideas or strategies for this that have worked for you, please hit reply or DM me @agood.coach - I’ll share the best ones with credit in the next issue!