AGC #007 - Coaching communication habits to break

A summer spent on the road at recruiting events always gives pause for thought on the coaching styles of others - and subsequently, some reflection on my own.

To that end, here are 7 coaching communication habits to break:

1 - Commentating instead of coaching

This is an in-game habit I think every coach does to some extent, but the difference is in whether the language used is productive.

Commentary: “John, don’t hit it away like that!”

Coaching: “John, can you get your eyes up before making your next decision?”

It’s tempting to commentate on the past - mainly when you’re frustrated and feeling helpless - but it’s not coaching unless you’re helping the player make a better choice next time.

2 - Making it about yourself

“I won’t stand for that.”

“I need you to do this for me.”

“Why you can’t make the changes I’m asking you to?”

I heard all of these from the same coach in one game - from the other side of the field.

Not only will this piss your players off, but you won’t endear yourself to anyone within earshot either.

Is that really the kind of coach - or person - you want to be?

It’s fine to be demanding, but keep the players at the center of things.

3 - Talking too much, too urgently

I grew up watching English Premier League soccer on TV.

When the manager appears on screen, he often cuts a desperate, intense figure - screaming and gesticulating to try to make himself heard over 50,000 fans.

So when I started coaching, I subconsciously thought my voice needed to be a constant, loud presence.

Except you and I don’t have tens of thousands of people drowning us out.

And few things cause your players to drown you out more than talking too much and failing to differentiate your tone.

If everything sounds urgent, nothing sounds urgent.

Only talk when you need to, and save the more intense tone for when you need to go up a level to communicate something important.

4 - Only talking to the players on the field

Proximity to the other human is key to a productive conversation.

You wouldn’t go for lunch with a friend and then sit at different tables on opposite sides of the restaurant and expect to have a worthwhile chat.

The same goes when coaching.

The players on the field or the court are both far away and visibly engaged in more pressing activities than listening to you.

Communication with them needs to be short, clear, and concise.

But don’t miss the opportunity to have a more in-depth conversation with them when they’re on the sideline - especially if you coach a sport with rolling substitutions.

Not only can you get your message across more easily, but you can hear their perspective too.

If you’re lucky enough to have multiple coaches, consider differentiating your game-day roles.

For instance, one person could be the “big picture” coach - leading the group discussions and coaching those on the field - while another could be the “little details” coach, whose sole job is to have those 1-on-1 discussions and check in with each individual.

5 - Singling out athletes in public

When in doubt, save your individual player feedback or private moments - especially if you’re uncertain about how an athlete prefers to receive it.

This seems obvious for criticism, as few people enjoy being negatively singled out in front of their peers.

But it can apply to praise as well, especially once adolescence hits your group.

Anyone who has coached middle school girls, for example, knows that singling one of them out for praise in front of the group can have three major downsides:

• The rest of the team is annoyed at her for being the ‘chosen one’

• The rest of the team is annoyed at you for not picking them

• The player is annoyed at you for embarrassing her in front of her friends

While boys at this age are less bothered about being shouted out for a great play or awesome skill, other public praise would mortify them.

Try telling one he’s been a kind and helpful team-mate, for example, and watch the rest of the group annihilate him.

Your validation and feedback still mean a lot to athletes of all ages, but the risk of offending or embarrassing someone is far lower with private words than with public ones.

6 - Pretending you have all the answers

Vulnerability is a key trait in high-performing groups, especially when it is modeled by the leader.

One of the easiest ways to do this as a coach is to say “I don’t know” a bit more often - especially if it’s followed by “What do you think?”.

Many coaches will do this to invite their players further into the problem-solving process and to give more ownership, even if they have a solution in mind they wish to guide the group towards.

But it works just as well if you actually don’t know the answer, and need to leverage the wider group for ideas.

It helps the player-coach relationship feel less transactional and more authentic.

It also makes you more trustworthy when you actually have a strong opinion on something.

The same goes for when you make mistakes - “I screwed that up” is one of the most powerful things a leader can say.

7 - Giving too much information at the wrong time

This one is a constant note-to-self for me as a coach.

I often use 50 words when 10 will do, which is exceptionally unhelpful in most coaching situations.

Players don’t have the time to process long instructions during a game in particular, but the tip holds true at practice and in team meetings too.

Practice keeping your instructions short, clear, and concise. And to the point.

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve received in this area is Craig Parnham’s “no new information on gameday”.

This keeps in-game feedback centered on reminders and quick evaluations of things that have been practiced and familiar.

Half-time, for example, is better spent evaluating the delivery of things you worked on ahead of time, than coming up with new tactical solutions to unfamiliar problems on the fly when emotions are high and time is short.

TL, DR: 7 coaching communication habits to break:

1 - Commentating instead of coaching
2 - Making it about yourself
3 - Talking too much, too urgently
4 - Only talking to the players on the field
5 - Singling out athletes in public
6 - Pretending you have all the answers
7 - Giving too much information at the wrong time